I bet that everyone has had a dream, an ambition that they have wanted to fulfil at *some* point in their life. I also bet that those same people probably never actually achieved them... The same goes for success - whatever it means to you. A study by The University of Scranton reveals that around 92% of people don't achieve their new years resolutions, with them failing as early as January 15th. If that's just the statistics for a new years resolution, whats the statistic for life-long goals? For generational dreams? However, the more important question to ask would be; why? Consider a young girl, who dreams of becoming a popular singer, with her songs being played on the radio. Think of how her life could turn out if she worked relentlessly towards that goal, from as soon as she decided on it. Now think of what most of us are likely regarding as the true reality - she's told it's not stable, it's difficult, it's unrealistic, maybe even, that she can't sing that well. For most people, simply being told to follow your dreams is often met with sarcasm or pessimism. Even in an article that talk about how barely 30% of people are in their dream job deals with living without inhibitions as something to be scorned. It is an idea that cannot even be dealt with seriously. Is it that much of a joke to think that it could actually be possible to live the life of your dreams? The Oracle of Omaha told FORTUNE in a recent interview that he tells college students to “take the job that you would take if you were independently wealthy.” Good luck with that one, kids. Of course, as you may have guessed by my tone - I don't think it is. Unfortunately, I can't offer you my own rags to riches story to provide some support to my belief (yet!), but, even if I could, hearing one success story doesn't necessary translate to mean that you will get it too, if you get 'hang in there'. Instead, I've done some scouring, and have found some possible explanations to this dilemma, and have a solution I think could help us change those horrible statistics and create happier human beings in the process. There are 17 reasons that can cause people to give up on their dreams. But most of these can actually be condescend to 3 main things that prohibit us (and no, one of them isn't 'you'.) 1 - Fear Fear is one of out biggest obstacles. It can come from within or from outside factors. The fear of failure, lack of courage in ourselves and having little to no support system can all lead back to the root fear of the unknown. Perhaps this links to Neanderthal days when so much was unknown and eating the wrong plant or walking into the wrong area could get us killed. The consequences aren't always as drastic as they may have been in the past, but deliberately putting ourselves into a situation which we have very little control over and therefore, very little knowledge of what could happen can feel like playing Russian Roulette. In order to make a drastic change, a gamble has to be made, and many times it can lead to a loss of something great. 2 - Ill-preparation Aside from fear, sheer laziness and ignorance play a big role in many people not achieving what they want out of life. Some people might think they have a goal, but it's so vague they don't even know where to begin and get so daunted at the idea of overcoming such a huge hurdle, they give up before they even begin. And then for others, they don't take the time. According to GoalBand, people who write their goals down are 50% more likely to achieve their goals, as they don't get jumbled around and forgotten in the herd of other thoughts floating around in your brain. They also state that only 3 out of every 100 adults actually do this. Can you see the problem? 3 - Impatience That's right. Some people who are so eager to break the losing cycle and be in the 8% of people who achieve their goals want to get everything now. They want their first draft to be the words of God them-self, and the process to be as smooth as if carved out of butter. But that's just unrealistic. Especially if your goal is to break a habit or initiate the start of something with no prior experience. Like everything, there is a process, and in order to create a ripple in an ocean, you need time and the know-how, which you aren't going to be blessed with from day 1. Not even Eisenstein came out of the womb revolutionising mathematics. Having just one of these qualities is enough to hinder or even eradicate your chances of succeeding in life, however you classify that, and many people (including myself) fall into two or even all three. But that doesn't mean there is no way out. The first thing to acknowledge in order to start down a positive path to the life of your dreams, is to recognise that Success is possible. Tell yourself this, write it on your wall so that you see it everyday, but you need to start replacing all that doom and gloom that surrounds you on a daily basis. The next thing to do, is - you guessed it - write down your goals. A lot of people laugh at the idea of mood boards, but the fact is that humans are sensory creatures, and by having all your wonderful and amazing ideas locked in your head - and away from your 5 senses - you're not helping anyone, least of all yourself. Set yourself 5 minutes, if that's all you can spare, to really get to the bottom of your goals, and flesh them out as much as possible. A vague goal is basically the same as no goal - Dr John Norcross, a clinical psychologist and a professor at the University of Scranton said in an interview "if you can't measure it, it's not a very good resolution because vague goals beget vague resolutions." For example, if your goal is to improve your cardio, rather than just say 'go running', do a test to figure out where you are now, and set yourself a weekly target - 'run every Tuesday'. Then regularly review your progress and adjust accordingly so that you stay on target and see improvement. And lastly, make sure your goals are your own. Don't set yourself a target of becoming a banker if your heart is not passionate about banking. Setting goals and dreams that don't align with your passions is the fastest way to backtrack on them and be miserable. Focus on one thing that you're actually very passionate about, and go after that 110% There will always be fear, and there will inevitably be difficult times, but nothing is created without first destroying something. Just remind yourself of why you started on that journey, in other words, keep your eyes on the prize. Hopefully we can both work towards breaking that statistic, and living the life or our dreams.
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AuthorHarley, 18 year old living in the UK and sharing my life and experiences on this blog. ArchivesCategories |